7 Things I Quickly Learned As A Newbie Mum…..

Hello everyone, I hope you are all well, I’m not going to moan about the weather because I doubt it will make a difference! BUT…seriously!!!……how much more rain can we get??? It’s bloody June!!!!…..HOSE PIPE BAN?? You’re having a laugh!!…

Like most of the 20 + age group, I grew up watching “THEE BEST” sitcom of all time, Friends! You would still find me from time to time watching reruns, curled up on the sofa, mug of tea in hand, wearing my “go to” wardrobe essential…My dressing gown/house coat ( The debate on what this item of clothing is called divides our wee country!) I call it a dressing gown…..

Recently I watched the episode where Rachel had her baby shower. Remember it??…She was clueless!!….She said to her Mum “Please don’t leave me”, well I can wholeheartedly assure you, that was me!! I had reached the ripe old age of 38 and had never held a newborn baby, never mind change a nappy. When work colleagues or friends gave birth and brought their little, fragile, fresh and new babies within 10 paces of me, I would start to sweat profusely, completely bricking it, in case they would ask me to hold him/her. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always loved kids, they have always loved me too, but a newborn baby in my eyes was precious cargo and I didn’t want to be responsible for any damages!!….When faced with one of my own, this fear had to be overcome! and overcome it I did, every day become a school day, and still is after 10 months. These are a few things I quickly learned about newborns…..

Nothing Prepares You For The First Poo!!

OMG, WTF, nothing prepares you for the first nappy change, it’s a black, sticky, tar like substance, that changes to yellow and then green, with what can only be described as seed like things mixed in. It really was like a lucky dip, every day the poo was different. Slowly the conversations at our dinner table began to change, we become obsessed with how many times she pooed in a day, what colour it was and how it smelled….Romance ehhhh???


Never Underestimate The Amount Of Baby Wipes You May Need

If you are pregnant at the moment and are trying to stock up on nappies, wet wipes etc, take the number of packets of wet wipes you think you might need and double it! You will use a shit load!

Don’t Buy Scented Baby Wash

My girl had extremely sensitive skin, so any of the scented products I’d bought were useless. They just dried her skin and broke her out. One baby wash I can recommend is Baby’s Farm, it was the only one that agreed with her and is excellent for babies with dry/eczema prone skin.

Don’t Buy Too Many Pretty Outfits

For the first 3 months of your babies life they will be most happy in the comfort of a nicely fitting baby grow. Stock up on Newborn and 0-3 month sizes. Baby grows are so much easier to navigate your way around when trying change a nappy.

They Are Slippery Little Suckers

The first baths were a sweat fest! Yes!!…not ashamed to admit it but it took two grown adults half an hour to bath an almost 10 lb baby. They taught us how to bath a doll in the ante natal class but nothing prepares you for a real, live, wriggling baby! nerve wrecking on a whole new level….


Hands up!!….I was one of those PREGNANT woman who said ” my child will not be given a dummy!” 3 days into motherhood and that dummy became a life saver!, we now call it ” The Silencer” because that’s exactly what it is!!.


Nothing Prepares You For How Fecking Nice Your Baby Smells

Chanel ain’t got nothing on the smell of your new baby, it’s a hard smell to describe, but if you could bottle it you would make a complete fortune!

Despite all of the above I survived, I’m not an Earth Mother by any means and probably never will be, I’m constantly learning, every day I face something different, they don’t write a manual that’s tailored to the needs of your baby. You get to know them and they get to know you. So here’s to the next 18 years, to boldly go where I have never gone before…..

Speak Soon

Jules xo

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